


Happy Birthday Virgil

by Robin1103



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Hallucinations, Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Other, Prompt Fill, Psychiatric Patient Virgil, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 14:05:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15050765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robin1103/pseuds/Robin1103
Summary: Heed the warnings! This was written for the Fanders secret Santa. This is an AU. Virgil is a patient and the other sides are simply hallucinations.Virgil Simmons hates his birthday, locked up in a psych hospital he feels no different. His birthday comes around and he's not as alone as he thought he would be.





	Happy Birthday Virgil

Florida State Hospital

Personal files and record: VIRGIL SIMMONS

 

Page 1: Basic information:  
Patient #4592. Room 18.  
Institutionalised after a suicide attempt. It was soon discovered the patient suffered from extreme hallucinations. Arrived on the 6th October 2012. 28 years old. Physically healthy. Born on 15th December 1984. No allergies. No family remain alive. No significant other. One regular visitor, Thomas sanders.

Page 2: Medication/treatment  
/ From this page onwards all information is Strictly confidential. Only the patient’s doctors should have access to these files. Exceptions include, billing staff and the patient if they sign a release form/  
The patient is a sufferer of schizophrenia, measures to treat this are being taken but progress may be slow. The patient has moderate to severe anxiety which is treated by taking Xanax, which has possible side effects of drowsiness and loss of balance with potential memory loss. The patient also attends guided Mindfulness sessions and Cognitive behavioral therapy. The patient occasionally experiences hallucinations, auditory and visual. /records of these are in file #674, filing cabinet 20/

Page 3: Varied notes/observations: 

The patient does not often respond to their birth name. When they speak they tells us their name is ‘anxiety’. We suspect this was a nickname that the patient grew used to or it is one of their delusions.

The patient will not tell us who ‘Logan’, ‘Patton’ and ‘Roman’ are, we have heard the patient say their names repeatedly over the course of their time spent here. The aforementioned names are not confirmed to be living or have existed, nor have they ever visited. We gained confirmation that they weren’t in contact with the patient from his next of kin, Thomas Sanders. The names are most often called when the patient goes to sleep or is experiencing an episode. They are a frequent dreamer. It is suspected that these names are ones the patient has given to the figures they hallucinate.

The patient is not violent towards others and no further attempt to harm themselves has been made. This could indicate the suicide attempt as self harm gone too far or a result of a strong episode. They are to be released once deemed ready, as long as they take any medication prescribed.

The patient is allowed privileges since they are a model patient, such privileges are a pair of wireless headphones that are checked regularly and they are to be monitored whilst the patient uses them, they may also be taken away if necessary. The patient has only been violent towards another once, that was towards a nurse who wrongly attempted to restrain the patient. That nurse has since been fired.

The patient doesn’t interact with the others often, despite our best efforts to include them in group therapy the patient prefers to stay withdrawn. The patient is easily distressed by people and social situations. It has been reported that the patient can suffer from sensory overloads. When the patient is particularly anxious and or overwhelmed they refuse to speak, they’re not mute nor do they go mute, the patient simply refuses to speak for unknown reasons. one nurse reported he had overheard the patient saying something about their voice being different, wrong.  
-

Virgil didn’t get multiple visitors anymore, his parents used to visit him but they passed a year ago. His sole visitor, Thomas, visited every week, unless he was held up. And as Thomas was his only friend outside of the institute, Virgil appreciated every visit. They interrupted the dull monotonous routine he was expected to follow. His friend was a source of happiness for him, the hour that he was with Thomas allowed him to relax slightly. After a visit Virgil would usually be in a good mood, he tended to smile more.  
While it was strict and he often felt restricted, he didn't hate the institute like some of the other patients. No, The institute wasn’t bad , he found comfort in the strict schedule which meant there was less chance for something to go wrong and.. he was in here for a reason. Though he firmly ignored the memories, somewhat fruitlessly as that night was still fresh in his mind. The institute wasn’t bad it helped him, though he did dislike the occasional rude or nosey nurse.

Today, as he woke up he realized something that dampened his mood and sent his mind into a flurry .It was the 14th of December. The dreaded event, otherwise known as his birthday, was only one day away. He had known that the day was coming of course, it just hadn’t sunk in until then..

He had always hated his ‘special’ day even before his incarceration. Not for any negative reason, his parents hadn’t abused him like one of the other patients had once theorized, in fact his parents had loved him until their last breath, they’d loved him. He knew that his illness made it hard sometimes. ‘Celebrating’ wasn’t the same without them, at least before their death he could have some semblance of a good day. Virgil just hated his birthday, having the constant attention made him uneasy, even more so if the attention was from strangers.

He hauled himself out of bed and glanced at the small clock which read 07:12, He had a few hours to kill before Thomas was supposed to be here. A walk around couldn’t hurt. Even if there was going to be people already awake and walking around, which meant interaction.

\----A few hours later------

Virgil sat on the comfortable couch, waiting for Thomas, it had been a quiet morning though that was not unusual. His headphones were on his head, though he hardly paid any attention to the music he figured it was best to keep them on, just in case someone thought he was open for conversation.

He was so out of it he didn't notice when Thomas sat down next to him, until a tap on his shoulder startled him enough for his head to jerk and the wireless headphones to fall off of his head, they clattered to the floor and he looked at Thomas accusingly “What the heck Thomas?!” he half yelled, wildly over estimating the volume of the room, he swallowed sheepishly as eyes burnt into him. His friend laughed at first but seeing the real fear in Virgil’s eyes he sobered slightly “Hey.. What’s wrong Virgil? Why’re you this jumpy?” Virgil swallowed any truths that may have escaped him, smiling at Thomas with a well practised smile. “Nothing, i had my headphones on and wasn’t expecting that” Thomas frowned but did not push, they had limited time and after this visit there wouldn't be another for a few weeks as Thomas was away with his family.. “If you’re sure..” The visit passed smoothly after that, Virgil relaxing in Thomas’s company, they talked about anything and everything, idle chatter passing between them as they basked in comfort and friendship.

\---- Later that night----

In his bed, Virgil thrashed and writhed, something was holding him down, his body was restricted and warm, too warm as his mouth formed angry yells and desperate whimpers. He was in the throes of a nightmare, bundled up in sheets and sweating heavily..he couldn't move, he couldn't breathe nor could he see and voices sounded in his ears. Soon he woke, bolting upright in his bed.. alone and afraid, he was in his bed, in the institute.. He was safe.

“For being a supposedly emo nightmare you sure are pathetic, you can't’ even tell the truth to the one who helped you.. Or have you forgotten what happened?” That.. that was Roman, the voice was crystal clear which meant.. he had to be near. Roman had to be somewhere.. And with Roman came the others. “Shut up Roman. You’re asking stupid questions again” He retorted, feeling slightly panicky now. Virgil looked around, seeing just the room.. nothing moved, nothing was heard except his own shallow breathing. He then looked down, seeing his hands he recoiled, they were stained with red..

“That is your own blood, you did this. “ The second voice usually tells him things he already knows.., he knows what he did, he knows why the jagged scars lay upon his arms, he knows what happened no matter how much he tries or fakes otherwise he can't forget..”I know, Logan. Shut up.” He replied, tired and so not ready to deal with this..  
Logan spoke again, his tone was of curiousness laced with frustration. “If you know then why are you so scared and clinging on to this? You are being foolish Virgil. Time has passed, it is time to move on” That was most definitely Logan, the one who never let him forget how much time he was wasting by being this stuck in his thinking, the one who was ever curious as to why Virgil reacted in the ways he did. While he was hearing the words and their meaning, Virgil couldn’t accept them .. The others didn't understand, he knew that he needed to move on but he couldn't forget why he was here, he was haunted by the glint of the razor that had been dragged up his arms, that had caused blood to spill out of him and made dull pain thrum through his body..

His eyes were still on his hands, versions of his vision flickering in and out, reality was unknown to him as he heard footsteps thud against the floor. He hears a third voice, just as the room flickered, the air and space in front of him turning from black to a hazy red.

“Kiddo.. Why are you scared of us? It's just us..” Patton’s voice was sad and quiet, and Virgil couldn’t help but feel foolish guilt worm its way into his heart, This was Patton.. The only one who’s words seemed to hold truth, while Roman was mocking and Logan was cold, Patton was warm and quiet, his words helped.. Virgil didn’t deserve help, as the others so readily reminded him, but he took it anyway. “I’m.. not scared, not of you.” He was only partially lying, Patton didn't scare him, the others did.

He looked at his clock and his stomach flipped, it was 00:23, his birthday had come. He heard a small giggle, most likely courtesy of roman, and footsteps surrounded him. He looked up and forced his hands to stay down, to not cover his face is shock as he saw them standing at the foot of his bed. All had party hats on, all had smiles plastered on their faces.. Patton’s was warm if a little more strained than usual, Roman’s was of glee accompanied by a cruel glint in his eyes and Logan’s smile, it was more of a smirk, was of condescending curiosity. Patton was in a… onesie? Stained with something, he decided not to question it too much. Logan was in his usual attire though his tie was patterned this time, Roman was in his undershirt and pants.

Together, their mouths opened and as one they spoke “HAPPY BIRTHDAY..” he flinched at the words, how he hated this, hated how easily those words sent him into a mindset he couldn't easily escape, they were here and he was not alone for his birthday like he'd thought he would be, how foolish of him.. To think that they would leave him alone.  
Virgil wasn't surprised by them actually being there, not anymore, he had grown used to them, to his illness..and he had seen them before, but never like this. Never as clear and as real seeming as this. He took in a deep breath, a breathing exercise at the front of his mind.

The room transformed again, becoming brighter and bolder, colours splashing over the walls and floor, surrounding him, making the three figures at the bottom of his bed even more noticeable.. he couldn’t face them, choosing to stare at the bold colours until his eyes ached.. “Look Virgil.. we made an effort for you!” Patton’s chipper voice was too much.. guilty anger swimming inside of him. Why him?

He opened his mouth, to speak between his slightly faster than usual breaths, but he was cut off by the sound of a sword being drawn, he flinched back at the sound and ignored the racing of his heart. “Roman.. put the sword away.. this was meant to be a party” came Patton’s voice, Roman simply ignored him and advanced, getting closer to Virgil.. who just wanted to scream, if he screamed long enough the nurses would come. They would help.. he went to scream but his throat was dry and sealed shut with fear..he swallowed his words and his pride, curling up on his bed and shutting his eyes tightly. Roman chuckled “But Patton this is the party.. we are in his head and this is fun.” Virgil curled up tighter, bitterness rising within him. But, his breath wouldn’t come that breathing exercise was a distant thought, lights and old faces flashed behind his eyes.. he had left everything behind to come here, to be treated and here he was suffering whilst cowering under the bed covers like a child.

He still heard their voices but paid them no heed.. and soon enough their voices mixed into a steam of babbling and painful noise. He lost his awareness of everything but them, falling through the hours of the night. He stayed there, scared and frozen in panic. All night he was huddled under his sheets, wishing they would go away whilst blocking out reality.  
\--  
The nurse on the morning shift found Virgil curled under the sheets, long after he shut everything out. Even with their soft voices he did not respond, stuck in his head.  
Eventually, they resorted to sedating him, leaving him to rest and recover from whatever had happened.

Virgil Simmons did have a party that night. One that only he knew about, and it would stay that way. Nurses tried and failed, as did doctors and Councillors, but none could prise what had happened from his lips. 

The others were constantly there, and he would never be alone again.


End file.
